Rope work - Past and Current

Greetings all,

I have always had an attraction to bondage. Many of my earliest fantasies involved bound and helpless women. I couldn’t really say why I found these images to be so exciting. Perhaps it was some early event in my childhood or perhaps it is genetics. In any event, I don’t worry about it too much. Over the years I have come not only to accept this part of my sexual identity, but to fully embrace it. Part of this acceptance came from learning that there are many women whose bondage fantasies dovetail with my own. One of the happy consequences of this knowledge has been a plethora of females more than willing to offer themselves for binding, or as we sometimes say “to beg the ropes”.

I bound someone for the first time when I was 23 or so. I actually remember the binding. She was on the bed, naked and spread-eagled. I was intending to tie her wrists and ankles to the bed legs, which proved to be a problem because the bed didn’t have any legs. I ended up tying one of the ropes to her wrist, passed the rope between the mattress and the box spring, and tied it to her other wrist.

At which point my cock took over. I didn’t even remember about her ankles, just jumped on top and had some of my best sex ever.

My knot work was pathetic. The rope was loose, I had used dangerous slip knots, and she was able to free herself well before I was done with her, but it didn’t matter. Now I had tasted the reality of bondage and I knew I wanted more. Much more.

My next twenty or so years were spent experimenting with different forms of bondage. Ropes of course, but also chains, leather, plastic wrap, etc. Even before the Internet, there were plenty of BDSM-themed books around offering fodder for my creativity. Of course, the arrival of children meant that I had to significantly curtail the frequency of bondage sessions, although I can’t say it involved too much suffering.

I don’t really remember when I first encountered photographs of women bound in the Japanese Shibari or Kinbaku style. What I do remember is how I was captivated by the grace, beauty, and intensity of the simple hemp or jute ropes cunningly and artistically wrapped around the female’s body. I remember the expressions of rapture and passion on the faces of the models, ranging from utter perfect humiliation to a transcendent orgasmic release. Shibari is all about ropes, but not just the mechanical aspects of binding. In shibari the ropes also act as a conduit of interaction between the participants. Sexual and emotional energies flow and merge creating a special reality which can only exist within the framework of the ropes.

Or to put it in a somewhat abbreviated manner – I abso-fucking-lutely loved shibari from Day One. Still do.

Learning shibari is easier said than done, in particular if you are married with young children. There were very few books available, and those were mostly in Japanese. In addition, it was difficult to find any general agreement on what shibari was, or was not. Lacking any certifying body, almost anyone can call themselves a shibari master (nawashi, etc), and who is to say they are wrong? I did manage to see some performance videos, but these were mostly about suspensions (which I liked but knew were beyond my ability), or only showed the completed binding and not how it was done.

This meant that most of my early attempts at shibari were dismal failures. In fact, not only my early attempts, but almost all of my attempts for quite a few years afterward were perhaps best described as “learning experiences”. Ropes were too tight, or too loose. Knots became stuck and wouldn’t release. My partners were frequently able to escape. Perhaps most importantly, I was never really able to achieve the looks of passion on my model’s face such as those in the photographs I had seen. Because I was concentrating so hard on trying to get the binding right, I was never able to let myself open to the potential energy flow between myself and my partner.

Over time I came to realize that this interaction was much more important than the actual technique itself. This was a major revelation for me. It freed me from the tyranny of trying to get the ropes on correctly, and instead allowed me to be in the moment with my partner. So, while my rope work stayed sloppy, my enjoyment and pleasure in the sessions increased quite a bit.

Still, I have never lost my interest in trying to achieve some measure of competency in my rope techniques. I look forward to new sessions as opportunities for sexual pleasure, the expression of the D/s dynamic, and to improve my techniques.

Which brings me almost up to date.

Over the last six months or so there have been some wonderful additions to my collection of shibari “how to” materials, namely Douglas Kent’s Complete Shibari (which I reviewed in my last post), and Master K’s gorgeous “The Beauty of Kinbaku” coffee table book. I have also come into possession of a couple of shibari videos; one in particular by Mari Masato which has influenced me greatly in a very short time. While the video is in Japanese without sub-titles, I find they really are not required. The bindings are performed slowly, and are well lit and easy to follow. I have watched the video many times now, and with each repetition I have been more impressed with the simplicity, elegance, and cunning in how he uses the ropes.

Last weekend I had my first opportunity to try one of these bindings on a willing and flexible girl. It is called a shrimp (or ebi) tie. At first glance it appears simple, but there are some subtle aspects to it which require special attention. The intent of this binding is to keep the model perfectly immobile yet make it easy to position her in different ways for different purposes.

Even though this was my first attempt I felt comfortable and relaxed as I started the binding. The ropes seemed to flow onto her body. At one point I had to raise her crossed and bound ankles towards her waist. Staying close to her, I used both my thigh and body to bend her over. The sense of energy flow was intense.

By the time I was looping the rope around her neck to bend her over even further, I could tell she was deeply into the experience. She was still and calm, yet also profoundly aroused. I rocked her back and forth on the fulcrum of her ass; leaning her up against the wall, and then rocking her forward so she was sitting on the floor, her head bowed in a lovely expression of servitude.

After twenty minutes or so I judged that she’d had enough, even though all of her extremities were still pink and warm and she was showing no sign of distress. I brought her through about three releases, using tongue and fingers. The last one was done by rocking her back and forth on my fingers which were up inside her hole. Later, she would tell me it was one of the most powerful releases she had ever experienced, and it sent her off into subspace for a good 10-15 minutes. During that time I kept her cradled in my arms, lying mostly face down across my lap. Because of the way the ropes were tied I was able to release almost all of them one-handed, slowly releasing the tensions of the cords, without requiring her to move.

Overall I was very pleased with the results. The binding was not only pleasing to look at, but was perhaps my closest attempt so far to achieving the true shibari experience. I feel I have reached a new level in my rope work. I am looking forward now to trying new and more complex forms.

Any takers?

I just thought I would share.

Be seeing you.

P.S. Tonight, on the spur of the moment, I did a one rope shibari. It was a variant on a front hogtie. I more or less made it up as I went along. I was very pleased with the results.

So was she.