Greetings all,
The other day a lovely submissive whom I know wrote to me. She said she was walking around in a constant state of arousal and didn't know what to do about it. She said she had spoken to her husband about her condition, but he didn't seem too much inclined to spend his time sexing her.
What could she do to satisfy her need?
Here was my response:
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My suggestion would be to focus all your energy, including your sexual energy, into pleasing your Master, rather than focusing on your own needs and arousals. If he is too tired for sex, perhaps there are other things you could do to help ease his fatigue. Perhaps he needs some time alone, perhaps he would like to have a drink prepared for him when he comes home. Perhaps there is some "chore" of his that you could take on for yourself.
Use your excess energy to help him regain his.
I will teach you a very important lesson:
Be his balance. Be his perfection.
Once you understand this lesson and can live it, you will have become a well developed submissive, and well-trained slave.
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I believe that this is one of the most important lessons an attached submissive can learn, but it is not an easy one. While the rule about being pleasing is drummed in during the early stages of training, it is easy to lose focus.
Further, the submissive must understand what it means to be the dominant's "balance." Only by a detailed understanding can she hope to become his perfection.
Be seeing you,
Mackenzie
Friday, September 12, 2008
Be his perfection
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3 comments:
Greetings, Mr. Cross,
"Be his balance. Be his perfection."
Although this comment is addressed to the "attached submissive", I can't help but believe that it has accplication to the submissive who is unattached or in process of forming a new relationship.
For the unattached submissive, these two goals become balance within the individual and perfection in one's knowledge and understanding of who she is as a submissive. Perhaps you can state this more succinctly.
For the submissive in process of becoming attached (what an awkward phrase that is!), the two goals serve as a guide even if not fully realized. I think for that person, who is inbetween attached and unattached, it is all the more important to realize what constitues a self-realized submissive.
Thank you for posting and any additional comments you may wish to add to my own comment.
Respectfully,
seneca
Greetings seneca,
Thank you for your insightful comment.
Yes, you are correct. The phrase can be equally applicable to the unattached submissive who is in the process of forming a new relationship. It is very easy in the beginning for the submissive to focus on the wrong things. For example, "Am I pretty enough," or "Am I good enough." By focusing on being his perfection, finding out his needs and desires, and meeting and exceeding them, there will be a much better chance of a successful relationship.
Beginnings, as I have said, are dangerous. If the submissive focuses on being his perfection, it will make the beginning that much easier to deal with, and in the process help herself achieve her own balance.
Well said. Thank you.
Be seeing you,
MC
Greetings, Mr. Cross,
With all due respect, you've misunderstood my comment. My emphasis was on the "unattached" submissive.
As an aside, I think this use of "attached" vs. "unattached" is somewhat questionable and confuses issues. This connotates that an unpartnered woman is adrift, i.e. not attached to anything. This is very misleading. I suggest that "partnered" and "non-partnered" might be better and more appropriate terms.
But back to my point: my emphasis was that this notion of "Be his balance. Be his perfection." can be internalized by the non-partnered submissive. The notion of "be balanced" is applicable as is the "be perfection". In this sense, as well as for the partnered submissive, it indicates that the submissive strives to be most completely herself. By this I mean to be most authentically who she is without artifice. The struggle against accepting oneself is over. This makes it possible to achieve some sort of balance. Perfection, then, means striving toward that balance by remaining true to who one is and by operating from deep within one's most authentic self.
Submission is not something that needs to be expressed in acts of service. It is simply a state of knowing who and what one is about. Once one surrenders to self, then those acts of service are able to be expressed freely and joyfully. It is a simple thing once one is in balance with oneself, or at least on the way to being so.
In the context of a new relationship which is forming, I find the notion of being everything the potential partner wants somewhat troubling. I think it's more important for the submissive to be who she is so that the dominant may truly see her. To defer constantly is not necessarily the way all submission is expressed. There are as many ways of manifesting submission as there are people. It is an individual thing.
I do think you're right about not obsessing about looks and being "good enough" but if a submissive is operating from her most authentic self, then that's not a problem. She will do her best to present herself well in all situations, so this will not be an issue.
If the unpartnered submissive has been taught or learned on her own to be in balance and to strive for perfection in that balance, then she will have no problems with being her most authentic self. Submission will naturally occur in her interaction with a dominant with whom she is pursuing a relationship. In short, she will not fight her nature and from that all her powerful energy will flow effortlessly.
I do not intend to discount what you have said, only to point out that perhaps my own initial statement was not entirely clear. I also wish to point out that being submissive for those of us who are unpartnered or who are at the beginning of a relationship, can profit from similar advice even though the emphasis might differ.
Respectfully,
seneca
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