Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Why I admire humilation sluts

Greetings all,

There are many forms of sluts out there, but the ones I think I admire the most are humiliation sluts. Perhaps this sounds a bit paradoxical, so I shall explain.

In the world of BDSM the term slut is used frequently, and rarely in a derogatory manner. In fact, on forums such as “Sluts, Cunts, and Whores” on FetLife, the term is used with pride by many of the participants to describe themselves. It is sort of a badge of honour. Of course, there are sluts, and then there are sluts. I think that sluts can be categorized into one of three groups; pleasure sluts, pain sluts, and humiliation sluts.

Pleasure sluts, often simply called sluts, are perhaps the largest and best known group. These tend to be individuals who love sex, embrace sex, and crave sex. While this is something that is probably true for many in the vanilla world what sets the pleasure slut apart from others is her willingness to display her needs, and her acceptance of her nature. She knows who she is and she loves it. And while she may not crave every possible form of sex, what she does, she does with gusto. Pleasure sluts are common in the world of BDSM because it is a frequent component of submission, discipline, and bondage.

Pain sluts are a smaller, but still fairly large group. The pain slut is a female who craves extreme sensations, those of a nature and a character that others would view as painful, and something to avoid. For whatever reason, pain sluts gain a rich physical satisfaction from being handled by a sadist. And while all pain sluts have their limits (which vary from slut to slut), what they have in common is a desire to be physically handled in a way that evokes a response of pain which they then process as pleasure.

I like pleasure and pain sluts a great deal. This should not be surprising. I like sex, and I am a sadist. It makes sense that I would find such women attractive and of interest. Happily, there are many of them around.

While I am respectful of pleasure and pain sluts for having the courage to accept their nature and displaying their needs, I really admire the humiliation slut (HS). The HS is an individual who craves demeaning and degrading handling, or as it is sometimes said “being put low”. For the HS, the more humiliating the task, the more degrading the language that is used to describe them, the more they are aroused and empowered. Why this should be I do not know. However, I have met enough humiliation sluts to assure me that this is how they are wired.

The sort of treatment an HS craves can be physical, emotional, or intellectual in character. For example, they could be required to drag themselves through dirt, or made to clean a floor with their tongue. All manner of vulgarities could be used to describe them. Or they could be caged or made into human furniture. And while like a pain slut most humiliation sluts have limits (for example scat, or enemas, etc) still the main thing they crave is being treated as objects or things. What makes them different from the pleasure and pain sluts is that “humiliation” is primarily a mental state an attack on one’s self-image, where pain and pleasure are much more physical and do not impact the mind as much (sub-space not withstanding).

IOW – from my pov, pleasure and pain sluts share a commonality in that what they mostly crave is physical sensations. The pain and pleasure they receive is from the body. In fact, they can engage in pain and/or pleasure play while still remaining more or less in control of their own mental states. IOW – they are sluts of the body, rather than of the mind.

Here is an excerpt from an email I received from a girl I know rather well:

“What makes humiliation so effectively arousing is that it is really a total surrender, probably more so than any other kind of play. In sex, ropes or pain play, it's really a physical surrender, but one can surrender physically and still keep a safe emotional or intellectual distance, if one wishes to do so. In humiliation, when done well, it's impossible to keep one's distance and so there is an emotional/intellectual surrender which cuts deeper than simply a physical surrender. And it goes without saying that the physical surrender will automatically follow the emotional/intellectual surrender...hence a complete surrender. If you've taken the mind, you've got the body. Given that so much of sexual arousal and attraction exists between the ears in many if not most women, it follows that a good mindfuck has the potential to be so much more powerful (and mindblowing) than a bodyfuck. “

A humiliation slut is therefore a special case of the general category of masochist. As I have said in the past a masochist is any individual who becomes aroused through extreme sensations which others would generally classify as pain. For the most part, this has always been classified as physical pain, whips, blades, wax, etc. However, there are other forms of pain, intellectual and emotional pain. What sets the humiliation slut apart is her desire for these other forms of pain, and her ability to effectively process it.

It should be obvious that the effective processing of humiliation is critical success factor for the HS. Obviously there are many women out there who are demeaned and degraded as part of their everyday life. Sometimes we call these women victims of abuse, or sexual harassment. But the HS does not fall into these categories for two principle reasons:

1) It is being done with her consent.
2) Rather than feeling down and depressed by this sort of treatment it empowers and excites her.

Still, one must wonder at the strength of character, the rock bed of self-esteem, and the sheer amount of self-worth such females must have in order to properly deal with intense humiliation play. While one may be impressed by the number of needles a girl may be able to tolerate piercing her flesh, I would suggest one must be even more impressed by a girl who can clean a toilet bowl with her tongue and come out feeling good about herself on the other side of the experience. While one may be amazed by a girl’s ability to have sex with many partners in a single evening, or her craving to swallow cum, one must be even more amazed when she orgasms from drinking piss, or begs to be kept like a dog, and feels empowered by doing these things.

Hence the reason that I admire the humiliation slut. They are indeed a special class of masochists.

Please note that I am not suggesting that these girls are of better or worse quality than others. Certainly I have known many powerful submissives who are not humiliation sluts. Too, I certainly have no objection to a session with a girl who has acknowledged that she is a pain slut but who draws a limit line at humiliation play. I do not judge people by the nature or intensity of their kink. Further, it goes without say that a slut can be into pain pleasure and humiliation all at the same time. It is not an either-or sort of a thing. For example, many of the pain sluts I know are also humiliation sluts of one kind or another. Just because one enjoys one sort of treatment does not preclude craving another.

Still, because they are quite rare imo, the humiliation slut does require special mention. This form of play is in many ways the most dangerous since it holds the potential for serious long-term psychological damage. One must be very careful. And it is certainly not for the faint of heart. But, if one is the sort of sadist who finds pleasure in putting a girl low, it is certainly nice to find a girl who craves this sort of attention. Happily, I have met one or two down through the years.

Be seeing you,

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Sub-fever and the submissive response


Long time no see. Holidays, spirits, herbs, and rope sessions will do that to a fellow. Someone made a suggestion to me today, and I ended up writing the following.

What, if any, is the relationship between sub-fever and the submissive response? Do they always go hand in hand, or are they two independent phenomena that often occur together? Or is something else?

Some definitions are in order. Sub-fever may be defined as a state of intense arousal that can not be satisfied solely by the sexual behaviour. A female (I suppose males can feel it but I have never encountered it in my experience) gripped by sub-fever exists in a state of constant heightened stimulation. Those who feel it for the first time have nothing really to compare it to, however since the symptoms include being wet much of the time, a constant obsession with sex, and a deep desire to be wanton and sluttish beyond anything they have ever felt before, they identify as being "very horny". Yet no amount of sex seems to satisfy the itch. Girls can rub themselves raw and still want more.

What these females require, beyond the sex, is the opportunity to submit to a dominant male. What they are really seeking, without really understanding why, is the matching power-flow of a dominant partner. Only this brings a relief to the fever.

Since this state is generally only found in submissive females, it is therefore called sub-fever.

However just because a particular male provokes sub-fever in a female does not imply that she will fully submit. Cases of females gripped in the heat of the fever who do not submit are common enough in our society and mythologies. Consider all the classical stories of women attracted to a "bad boy" (biker, thief, hardcase, etc). What is the attraction? Is it the physicality (their size)? Is it their attitude (arrogance, vanity, conceit)? Perhaps it is the power they wield (the married oil baron, politician, etc). Regardless of the participants the story is much the same. The female is attracted, cannot resist the allure and charm of the fellow, and throws herself at him over and over again, even though she knows from previous experiences that it will end badly. She finds herself unable to resist. The story ends with her being tossed aside, used goods, and she is left with memories and her tragedy.

Of course, in real life the same story ends somewhat different. In most cases, the girl simply gets bored and leaves. In fact, most of the time she leaves after the first or second sexual encounter. It seems that whatever has attracted the female to the male vanishes into thin air once the sex has taken place.

To make matters even more interesting, the sex itself turns out often to be rather anti-climatic, not quite living up to the billing which the attraction (i.e. fever) had suggested.

And then, at some point in the future, the whole process starts again with more or less the same results each time. In this way, it is possible for a woman to go through quite a number of men.

Of course, from the pov of a D/s dynamic this makes a great deal of sense. The sub-fever is provoked by an illusion of dominance that the male projects. As we know, true dominance is not found in body shapes, or external trappings of power, but rather is an internal state which may probably be genetic in origin. Still, it is obviously possible for many females to be provoked into a sub-fever response even by the illusion.

Of course, once the sex takes place, the female realizes that a) no true D/s dynamic has taken place, and b) with this realization the sub-fever disappears and she has little to no further interest in the male.

While sub-fever may be a marker or indicator of a submissive female, one cannot know for sure until a true submissive response has been provoked. Normally this cannot happen unless she is in a longer term relationship with a matching dominant male.

The submissive response (unlike sub-fever) is characterized by a desire to serve, to obey, to be pleasing. It may be considered an outgrowth of sub-fever since the only real way to satisfy the fever is by providing an opportunity for the female to serve with the framework of a D/s relationship. Almost all newly provoked submissives are often amazed to discover that balance and calm return as soon as they are kneeling at the feet of their dominant partner, performing a service (serving a drink, a meal, etc), or being put to sexual use.

So, the submissive response is the true marker to the female that she is with a matching dominant partner. She doesn't get bored. She doesn't want to leave. The fever doesn't fade. IOW - she is hooked.

Sadly, there seems to be a true lack of dominant males around who can provoke this sort of response in females. Well, in truth I don't feel that there is really a lack of males, what I feel is that there is a lack of males who are ready to allow their dominant natures express themselves.

I am neither a stud or a hunk. I do not own a motorcycle. I don't own a gun, and I am pretty sure I would not do to well in a fight. I don't have a great deal of wealth. I have no position of power. Yet, time and time again, females have begged to serve me. And they burn for me, the sub-fever staying hot and fresh down through the years, even though I may speak to them only a few times a year. Why? I would suggest it is because I have provoked their deeper submissive response and because of that they will always be ready to serve in any manner I wish, and be excited to do so.

Sub-fever is hot and tense, like water brought to the boil. But unless the heat is kept on, the water soon becomes tepid and then cools completely. The submissive response keeps the fire flamed, by tuning into the deeper more powerful submissive nature of the female. This can be done by any dominant male who understands the process.

Be seeing you,

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