Monday, June 22, 2009

Somewhat off topic: Being in the moment

Greetings all,

Via a private email a woman asking me the following questions with respect to my belief system:

How does your tradition account for that presence of being, that godliness we each experience? How does it teach you to live in the present moment without judgment? I would be most interested to learn, if you can think of it in those terms at all or translate them.

This is a rather challenging topic for me. I will try to answer it along the dimension of D/s since if I was to try and consider it totally I would find myself writing way too much.

When I am working a girl, or training, or mentoring, I feel it is critical to be in the moment. One does not wish to be distracted by thoughts of what has been, or what may be. For myself, if I am to read a girl's responses well, then I must focus my attention on her. Interestingly, I often find that my focus is so directed that I am not even paying attention to my own responses.

How is this done?

Those who know me are aware that I am not a very religious person, in the sense of following many of the rituals and disciplines of my faith (Jewish). OTOH - there is no question that I was raised in a Jewish culture and that certainly has had an impact on how I see things. Too, I have read a bit about Zen Buddism down through the years and find much there that appeals to me. Happily, it has not been difficult to reconcile these two views of morality, ethics, and beliefs. I believe that this is because both have an almost common viewpoint on man's relationship with man. I have taken this adapted it and made it my own. To me, what this means is to always try and be compassionate and responsible when dealing with others. No where is this more true than in a D/s relationship, or even in a S&M session with a girl.

Strange words perhaps, but they make sense to me. The female puts her trust in me to handle her (and perhaps enhance her) safely and well. This can only be done if I am tuned in to her feelings, her reactions, and her state of mind. And, for this to be done I must be in the moment.

So I put all other thoughts to the side, and stay focused on what I am doing. I do not find this too difficult since there is so much to appreciate when I am working a girl. Her body language, breathing, sounds, movements, etc, all combine to tell me exactly what is going on. Of course, sometimes I get it wrong, and that is a bad thing, but happily it does not happen too often.

My faith teaches and trains me to be aware of the other, to extend my empathy to how they are feeling. I can only do this if I am fully in the moment. Being in the moment is easier if I keep in mind what I am doing, and why I am doing it.

While it is true that we must live with ourselves, we must also live with others. How we shape our interactions with others is goverened, in part, by what we believe in. My belief is that those who I become close to (for whatever reason) have a great deal to teach me, if only I can pay attention.

So I pay attention.

Hmmm... I am not sure if I have answered the question though. I may have to re-visit this again later.

Be seeing you,


Anonymous said...

I have written a post on this topic from my perspective. I agree with almost all you have said and applaud your work on this excellent blog. However I did take up one thought. I have linked to this post but if you wish me not to have let me know and I will remove it.

regards, J

Mackenzie Cross said...

Greetings J,

Thank you for your email. Your comments are much appreciated. I have gone to your blog and read your entry on this topic. I think we are more or less in full agreement with each other.

I will include a link to your blog on my link index. If this is a problem for you let me know.

Be seeing you,

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