Greetings,

Here is an excerpt from another email I received.

"..do you wish to address the transitions that take place in D/s relationships as we age?.."

I must admit that this a topic that has been on my mind in the last little while. Although I still can't say I have any definite opinions, certain things seem obvious to me.

Physicality - despite our best attempts, it is the nature of our bodies to age. As they age, they change, and not always for the better. This may be a challenge for a female submissive in the sense that they may define part of the desirability because of the way they look. This lower self-image might manifest itself in the D/s dynamic. For the male Dominant the issue is less about the way they look, and more about the way they feel. Lower levels of testosterone may mean lower sex drive, and less of a desire to control and dominate.

Capabilities: Things that were once easy when we are young, become a challenge as we age. Kneeling is a good example! But so is driving, making decisions, playing safely, etc. So, rituals and disciplines that were once easy to perform, may become impossible.

Development: As we age, we mature. As we mature, we may look at things differently. Not to mention that, as the saying goes, shit happens. Events change us, we do not remain static. IMO - while one's nature is one's nature, the way we project it, protect it, promote it, may vary over time. This can be a challenge if one partner is going through a transformation, and the other is not. A long term D/s relationship must be able to adapt to these changes.

Spirituality: I would like to believe that long-term D/s relationships continue to grow in the quality of spirit. A special balance is achieved which is seen in the happiness and contentment of the parties involved. It is the nature of D/s to be intimate, More so I think than vanilla marriages. I feel that a D/s couple who have been together for many years share a perfect understanding with each other, and celebrate this in everything they do.

Illness: A terrible word yet a reality that many couples may face. A significant challenge if it is the Submissive who is not well, and cannot serve her Dominant according to her need. I have no simple answer.

Trauma: And by this I do not mean physical, but rather emotional. People make mistakes. Sometimes they are rather large mistakes, and the consequence is that one party hurts the other causing an emotional crisis. This could manifest as a depression, or with drawl, or anger, or whatever. The trauma I speak of is the breaking of trust. I do not know if a D/s relationship can survive this sort of thing. IMO - it would take a great deal of love.

Anyway, that's what came off the top of my head.

Be seeing you,