Playing, Owning, Mentoring

Greetings all,

A dominant fellow I know sent me an email the other day. He was considering the idea of mentoring a girl. It is not as if he is desperate for a women, he has a lovely little piece of submissive female flesh at his disposal. In fact, she is the one who suggested he consider the idea.

She is a good girl, always looking for a way to be pleasing to him.

IAE – he knows that I have mentored a few girls in my time and wrote to me to ask about my experiences and to ask a few questions.

This was part of my reply. I have done some editing so it will make sense here.

It is very important that you appreciate the difference between mentoring a female, owning a second female, and simply playing with other females.

Playing with another girl is generally not a problem, so long as everyone is aware that it is playing and that nothing is really hidden. The trick here is to make sure that playtime, does not become an affair. The new girl will want more and more of your time, and you will have to keep her in her place. Too, you will need a way to assure your current girl that the new girl is only a toy, and nothing more. This can be accomplished in a variety of ways. My general rule of advice to stay safe here, is to make sure that the girl you wish to play with is experienced, that she understands the boundaries, and knows what it means to be a plaything.

Owning another girl is a very different thing. To do such a thing would require that you and your current girl are very tight with each other, since it will be a challenge for her to accept. Not impossible, but difficult. Unless you are really certain you wish to own a second female, with all the responsibilities such a thing entails, then I would advise you to be careful. While it is possible to own more than one girl at a time, it can also be a real challenge. It looks good on paper, but the reality is often quite different.

Mentoring is quite a bit different from either playing or ownership. Mentoring is about developing a submissive, and helping her to accept herself. It is time consuming, intense, and challenging. The reward is not ownership, but the self-gratification of helping another find their path. It is not about sex, or about having other females around the house. True, I have had sex with many of the girls I have mentored, in part as a payment for my efforts, but mostly to help the girl develop, since to my way of thinking no submissive can be considered truly developed until her inner slut has been released. How this can be done varies from girl to girl. And as I said, such sex can be quite enjoyable and pleasing, but it can not be the OBJECTIVE of the mentoring.

Most importantly a mentor must always remember that while he promotes and protects the girl under his control, he is always aware that he must never possess her. IOW - he should be aware that most girls will want to attach very closely to their mentor. Sometimes they will even fall in love with their mentor. Setting the right expectations early is critical. In fact, I sometimes believe that by setting such ground rules early, and keeping to them, the mentor helps to build the trusting relationship so critical to the development of the submissive.