Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My Mentor's Ethical Code

Greetings all,

I have been quite active on FetLife as of late. Recently I began a number of threads on the BDSM Mentors forum. One of these threads raised the question of the ethic of a Mentor. Opinions were varied. (BTW - for those of you not members of FetLife I recommend it. For those of you who are, you probably have found my posts. If not, drop me a note and I will point them out).

Of course, it is somewhat futile to try and create an ethic for the entire community of BDSM mentors. There are just too many povs to accomdate. Therefore, I concluded that each mentor should develop their own. Which is what I have done.

Below is my first attempt. I will probably edit it over time, but I think it is not a bad place to start.

If you have any comments, let me know.

Be seeing you,


A Mentor’s Ethical Code

My objective is to promote and protect, never to possess.

I shall not knowingly abuse or damage my protégé.

My nature is to develop and enhance the inherent submissive or dominant qualities in others. It is a satisfaction to be true to my nature.

Honesty is the foundation of the Mentor-protégé relationship.

I will trust my protégé to be honest in their interactions with me.

I will teach my protégé to use the information I impart to them in a responsible manner.

A protégé is a reflection of their mentor. Therefore, I desire my protégé to be the best they can be and to behave in a manner which creates a favourable impression of the time they have spent with me.

I will decide who to accept as a protégé and when I will accept them. A protégé may leave at any time. I reserve the right to terminate the relationship as well.

My compensation for my time will be varied and depend on the individual situation of my protégé. However, the crux of my compensation is in the satisfaction of my nature.

A protégé is entitled to be aware of those areas of my character that will have a direct baring on our relationship.

A protégé is entitled to express their feelings at any time, so long as this is done in a respectful manner.

It is one of my tasks as a mentor to create a framework foundation for any submissive who I take on in formal relationship. This framework will (generally) not be changed once set.

Sex, and sexual-oriented activities, may or may not be part of the mentoring relationship. A protégé will always be informed in advance when this is to occur.

A protégé may ask any relevant questions of me, as long as it is done in a respectful manner. While my replies may be brutal and direct in their honesty, I will try and temper them with sensitivity.

I will not interfere with the private domestic lives of my protégé. My domain is solely that of dominant/submissive relationships and related topics.

I am not perfect. I am not a paragon. I make mistakes. Even with the best of intent I will act in a manner that is not consistent with my ethic. I will do my best to avoid this, but I accept that it is inevitable.


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