Back after awhile - D/s and love

Greetings all,

Well, its been awhile. Its funny how time can pass so quickly. I've been on the road a fair bit, kayaking a bit more, plus more than a few projects that have demanded my attention. But its time to get back to a bit of blogging. I have a few comments to reply to, some posts I want to make, and maybe a photo or two I would like to upload. More than enough to keep me busy for the next couple days.

Speaking of projects, I have accepted a new girl to mentor. Her name is deena. Like all my girls I consider her to be special. Perhaps she will show up at some point to introduce herself. IAE - a new girl is always a demand on my time, so I am not to sure how consistent my posting is going to be, but I will try.

And now, time to get busy. It is good to be back. I have missed the opportunity to speak what is on my mind.

BTW - I have started becoming active on FetLife. I discovered they have a Mentors forum. While I don't agree with all the people there, as I am sure they do not agree with me, it is good to find a place where I can interact with others who are trying to do the same thing I do. Although the definition of being a mentor seems to vary greatly, they all seem to share a core value, to help others find their own nature and balance. A good thing, imo. I have been enjoying posting there, and a couple of other forums as well. I recommend FetLife to all those involved in, or interested in, the scene and lifestyle.

Here is a recent post I made in response to a question asked by a Domme concerning D/s and love.

-----

I must take an opposing view. After 30 odd years of various D/s relationships I have come to realize that the most challenging are those that involve love, and romantic love in particular. As a dominant, who must regulate, structure, and from time to time punish a submissive, I find that love often gets in the way. One must be very strong to punish the one we love.

OTOH - when the basis of the relationship (and here I speak of ongoing lifestyle, not scenes) is strictly D/s, it is much easier to maintain structure. As to the sex, simply put, it is great. The lack of romance is actually, imo, an advantage. It keeps the relationship pure, balanced and focused.

Now I would not like to give the impression that I am opposed to love and D/s together. I have been married to the finest submissive I know for the last 15+ years and she is a joy and my perfection. Our marriage is, imo, a model of what is possible when romance and D/s are perfectly balanced. But it is not easy, it requires constant attention to detail, and their are times when I find it a challenge (as does she).

If you are dominant, as you claim to be, then I can not understand why you are finding some of these experiences to be negative. You are in the one in charge. You are the one responsible for the quality of the relationship. You must accept accountability for the results.

Is D/s intimate? Of course it is. About as intimate as it gets. But that does not mean it is romantic. Divorce the two in your mind, and then ask yourself if you still get a rush of satisfaction and pleasure from the simple control of another. If the answer is yes, then do it. If the answer is no, then I would suggest you re-evaluate your basic premises.

------------

Be seeing you,