How does the submissive reflect the energy of the dominant?

Greetings all,

One reader (seneca) asked a question in response to my post on the single submissive interacting with new potential partners. I thought I would answer it here.

Here is her question:

Could you please explain in more detail what you mean by the submissive reflecting the energy of the dominant? How does this happen, please? How can you tell that you have done so? Is it something that one does consciously? I'm afraid I fall into the second of the three groups you delineated so this does confuse me. I would appreciate it if you'd make this clearer for me.

Thank you for your question.

I wish I had a simple answer, or in fact any answer that seemed to make some concrete sense, but I do not. So, I will try and answer this by using my own personal experiences, and a bit of conjecture.

Down through the years I have noticed that if I am attracted to a woman, then it is almost a certainity that she is submissive in nature. There have been one or two small mistakes (and one rather large one), but overall my senses have directed me wisely.

Some men seem to be attracted to women of a certain body shape, others to women of certain ethnic backgrounds. Some men seem to be attracted to big tits, while others prefer a well packed booty. Some men simply like a woman in a short dress, or high heels, or with painted toes. Others may like the way she moves, or the way she speaks. All of these are rather obvious overt signs, which mean that it is pretty easy to decide if one is interested in the female or not. But what about submission? This is not something that a woman can easily display, like her body shape or an article of clothing.

To complicate things even further, frequently the women I have been attracted to were often not even aware that they had a submissive nature! At least not consciously. IOW – they were doing nothing overt to attract me. And yet they did.

And to add an even more mysterious layer of complexity to the issue, when I have questioned these women about if they were attracted to me, much of the time they will say that their first impression were not always possitive. I was often considered to be too short, or not muscular enough, or just not their normal “type.”

Yet, in a rather short amount of time after their first impression (let’s call it their second impression) they became highly attracted to me. And to make things all the more bizarre, in many of the cases, these women became attracted to me without having ever met me, seen a picture of me, or even heard my voice. More than a few woman have been attracted to me solely on the basis of the words I have written to them in emails.

Have I perhaps chased these women? Perhaps I hunted them forcing the strength of my power on them? Not really, I have never really been a “hunter” of women. The chase itself doesn’t interest me that much.

Segue: Many men and women say they find the “chase/hunting/capture” part of the romance/seduction process to be the most thrilling, and once they have made the catch (or been captured), they quickly become bored with their partner. I think this is because that this stage of the courtship allows one partner to play at being dominant “the hunter” and the other can assume a submissive stance. Both partners enjoy the natural erotic tension that must develop even if they are only “playing” at the D/s dynamic. This play process culminates (generally) in a sexual experience. While both partners bring a great deal of arousal into this interaction, they often do not, or cannot, bring their role (Dom or sub) from the play time, into the real time. Something prevents them from continuing their relative D/s roles. Perhaps it is because their true natures are revealed, and their relative energies do not match, and so they go their own ways. Perhaps it is because they are reluctant to follow the natural pathway, fearful of the consequences of assuming their true natures, and so they part. I know this does not apply to all one night stands, but I think it does account for a great number of them.

Now where was I?

I have no, or at least very little, interest in chasing females. While they do not “flock” to me (nor would I wish them to) I can’t say I have any complaints.

So, how are these women becoming attracted me? Or, put another way, what do I see in them that makes them attractive to me?

One more twist before I forget – sandra (my wife) can often pick out another submissive female even faster than I can, and she is always right. She is not attracted to them, but she does know them.

Segue: Recently sandra told me that she has for a very long time sensed an energy field that comes into existence when I am physically close to her. She describes it as oval shaped, surrounding the both of us. She says this energy feels very good to her, I believe the word she used was that it “completed” her. She also said that when I move away she senses it as a tangible loss. I do not make fun of this, even though I do not understand it. Over the years my first girl has demonstrated to me on more than one occasion that she has senses which I simply label as “witchy.” I believe other women have witchy powers as well. I do not, though I must say I do enjoy being close to my girl. So, if sandra says she feels it, than I know she does. I even tested her recently, and she passed with flying colours. However, I am not sure if this field she describes has anything to do with D/s or if it is more a manifestation of our love for each other, which is why I mention this in a seque.

Can I explain the process? No. I just know that there is something that a submissive female does attracts me. Call it her energy, or aura, or whatever. I see it, and I read it.

If I am interested in the girl (and in truth only a very few do), then I will normally try a simple test, like telling her to do something, or write something, or say something, or if she is physically present ask her to position herself in a certain way. I observe how she responds. Through this approach I can quickly identify if my first impression was correct.

The rest is fairly straightforward.

So to answer your question from my personal pov, there is not a great deal the woman can do one way or the other to reflect her energy to me. Either she will interest me or she will not, and there will not be a great deal she can do one way or the other to influence my decision.

Of course, I like to think of myself as a fairly well-developed dominant. This whole process becomes much challenging when dealing with a dominant man who is not even aware of his nature which I suspect is much more the usual case.

I haven’t really answered the question yet, but I think I need to take a rest now. I shall finish this up later.