Responses to a reader's comments

Greetings all,

One reader had a number of interesting comments to make about my recent post on reflecting energy. However, the comments appeared to be a general critique of my thoughts and techniques as a whole, so I thought it made more sense to post it up here where others could view it and participate if they so wished.

Here is the entire text of the comment by "Anonymous"

i do not dispute a point because generally - you make no points. That is MY point. And by presuming to 'teach' and 'train' submissives for any purpose but your own use implies you believe your point of view should be disseminated to others. Beyond sexual or performance technique and familiarity, there is nothing a teacher can 'train' on as each submissive must 'learn' from their own Dom, not someone else. To presume to 'teach' is beyond your scope unless the sub is yours. The only reason i would not 'lob small greandes' would be if i was engaged in a battle - but it is not worth battling someone of so fixed a perspective and so limited a view of D/s. You have missed the mark, and while entitled to your views, you should not have the audacity to 'teach'[ anyone but your own. pity the novice who gets caught in such a onesided view of things.

Here is my reply:

Greetings,

Let's take this one point at a time, shall we?

>>i do not dispute a point because generally - you make no points. That is MY point.<<


A nice general way to side step the entire matter. By refusing to specify anything in specific to which you object, you avoid the responsibility of having to do anything but critique.


>> And by presuming to 'teach' and 'train' submissives for any purpose but your own use implies you believe your point of view should be disseminated to others.<<

This is about as wrongful and backward a statement as possible. If I was only interested in developing a girl for my own use I would hardly have any motivation to share my ideas on training and development with others. I would spend more of my time with the girl, and rather less on writing in a blog. My ego does not require that I pontificate about my thoughts to others.

This blog was created in direct response to the requests of quite a few people after I shut down my web site. People who thought the information had some value.

Next, for the vast majority of women (and couples) I work with I have no interest at all in making them "mine." In fact I am quite specific about the fact that I will not become their "Owner," "Master," "Lord," etc, whenever they enter into a formal relationship with me. I do not need or require more girls of my own. I have quite enough to keep me busy. My purpose in working with other females is to help them understand their submission, and prepare them for what will come next, which will hopefully be a long term D/s relationship with another.

Next, most of what I do is mentoring, not teaching or training. While there is of course some element of teaching in a mentoring relationship, and perhaps a bit of light training, a mentoring relationship is geared more to helping the emerging submissive come to terms with her self. Training, imo, is a rather different sort of thing.

>> Beyond sexual or performance technique and familiarity, there is nothing a teacher can 'train' on as each submissive must 'learn' from their own Dom, not someone else.<<

Wrong, wrong, wrong. You show an incredible lack of understanding in this matter. In fact, I would suggest that it is really the opposite that is the truth. The only thing you correctly imply is that each Dominant is different and therefore will have different preferences in how they wish to be served. That is why I believe that the majority of sexual and service techniques should be developed and maintained by the individual dominant. What a mentor does is prepare a girl to be accepting of these techniques. He/she helps the Submissive develop the honesty and trust required to enter into the intensity of the D/s relationship. The mentor assist the submissive in understanding the various processes that are occurring and counsels on ways to deal with the inevitable stress of setting aside an entrenched world view learned from the vanilla world. IMO - girls who have been well-mentored are more balanced, less stressed, and better suited to deal with the intensity of a D/s relationship.

The problem is that way too many newly awakened submissives become involved with dominants who have no idea at all on how to handle them, and in the end ruin them.

I find it rather curious that you would presume to have something to say on this subject and at the same time show such a complete lack of understanding of the process.

>> To presume to 'teach' is beyond your scope unless the sub is yours.<<

Once again you are incorrect. It is precisely because she is not mine that I can mentor and develop her. The relationship is formal, specific, and transitory. This is understood from the beginning. Certain objectives are set and when they are accomplished the relationship is ended. By operating within these narrow confines, and rigid structure, the newly awakened submissive finds the security to explore her nature and discuss her feelings. She is less concerned with being "perfect" and more concerned with her development. The value of the mentoring relationship is that it has none of the strings and baggage so often attached to more permanent D/s pairings. This is comforting to the submissive.

And it is not a presumption on my part that I do these things. I have, and continue to do them. I have the references of those who I have worked with. I have refined my ideas over the last thirty years.

What have you accomplished?

>> The only reason i would not 'lob small greandes' would be if i was engaged in a battle - but it is not worth battling someone of so fixed a perspective and so limited a view of D/s. You have missed the mark, and while entitled to your views, you should not have the audacity to 'teach'[ anyone but your own. pity the novice who gets caught in such a onesided view of things.<<

For someone not engaged in a battle you have certainly not shied away from making accusations and inflammatory statements. Are my views "fixed?" Yes, in many ways they are. Why? Because after thirty odd years of doing this, and interacting with many submissive women, I have seen patterns. I have learned what works and what does not work. And not only this, but I feel it is a testimony to my techniques that virtually all of these women are quite willing to provide me with a reference if I require it, and are grateful for what I have accomplished with them.

So I ask you again, what have you accomplished? What is the basis for your opinions on what the rest of the D/s world is all about? If you are so sure that I am wrong, how do you know what is right? You suggest that every submissive must learn from a particular Dom. That is the sort of advice that has led to so many girls being seriously hurt (emotionally, intellectually, and often physically) in their D/s encounters. In my opinion, of the two of us, it is you who are giving the rather poor advice, not me. Still, I do believe that there are probably many more people out there who think like you, rather than me. Perhaps that is why there are so many submissives who had incredible potential, who end up ruined and hurt.

Because they listened and believed you knew what you were talking about.

How sad.

P.S. If you are going to continue you this debate with me, will you at least give yourself a name? You may be reluctant to share any other information about yourself, but I think it would be polite to at least allow me to call you something other than Anonymous.

Be seeing you,