The Single Submissive - Part 3

Greetings all,

I began this series of notes on the Single Submissive with a brief discussion on the different classifications which I use. The second note examined the particular cases of the unprovoked and the newly awakened submissive. In this final note I will examine the much more complex issues facing the single, experienced Submissive.

The experienced submissive is a female who has learned to accept her nature, and one who has probably been involved in a D/s lifestyle relationship, or some sort of long term training/mentoring relationship. She has a keen understanding of the D/s process, not only from a theoretical perspective, but also from her own personal experience. From this she has learned the value of the D/s dynamic both in terms of how it satisfies, as well as how it brings her balance. It is therefore natural that she should seek a partner, even desperately crave one, who can provide the dominant energy she requires.

Sadly, it has been my experience that there appear to be many more submissive females out there, than there are powerfully dominant males to partner with them. There is a great deal of speculation as to why this may be the case (which perhaps is a topic for another blog entry) but for the purposes of this note it is simply enough to recognize that the experienced Submissive may have some difficulty finding a partner.

So, what can she do?

What follows then are some of my suggestions. I do not recommend them for everyone, nor do I suggest you try them. Rather, what I am saying is that these are things I have found have worked in the past for others, or things I have heard of which others claim have worked for them.

- The local scene: For some submissives, becoming involved in the local BDSM scene is has numerous advantages. It allows them to meet others who might potentially become their partners. It provides a community of others to whom they can share intimacies. It offers the opportunity to volunteer work (a form of service). It allows for a wide variety of “play” experiences which, if not the real thing, allow for the illusion to be created for some period of time.

- Community work: Volunteer work is an useful outlet for the submissive need to serve. This volunteer work can take on many forms, both secular or religious. A submissive can obtain a great deal of satisfaction from doing this sort of work.

- On-line relationships: While hardly near as satisfying as a real-world D/s relationship there is still value in an on-line D/s relationship. The boundaries of the relationship can be easily set, the partners do not need to be in the same location, and the submissive can be assigned a wide variety of tasks that will mostly satisfy her needs. However, the lack of physical contact is obviously a significant problem. While this may sometimes be alleviated by the occasional meeting, ultimately the submissive will need something more complete to satisfy.

- Creative pastimes: Be it writing, art, music, etc, there is no question in my mind that the submissive is filled with wonderfully creative energy. Finding a way to express this energy, assuming she is not in a lifestyle relationship, might be through the creative process. While this approach is more of a patch than a fix (given that it only lasts as long as the creative juices are flowing) it can be of some benefit.

So, there you have my list. If you are a single submissive perhaps you have some other ideas which you would like to share. Feel free to post them to the comment section.

Be seeing you,