Thursday, February 18, 2010

Is a masochist a painslut?


I saw this question asked on a forum a while back and thought it was quite interesting.

At first the two terms seem almost synonymous, one being a more technical (medical?) way while the other is much more in the common vernacular. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was highly possible for someone to be a masochist, and not be a painslut.

According to the DSM-IV sexual masochism can be defined as:

The disorder is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual is humiliated, beaten, bound, or made to suffer in some way.

While I don't always agree with the DSM, this appears to be a pretty good definition, with the one exception being that I don't consider it to be a "disorder" in and of itself. Leaving that aside, I think the key word here is "suffer". IOW - regardless if the source of discomfort is from a physical beating, confinement, humiliation, etc, it always ends up with the masochist becoming aroused through some level of suffering.

But what if there is no suffering?

For example, I enjoy spanking my girl. I like to spank her for a long time, in particular when she is bound. I am not gentle about it either. Yet, I rarely hear her cry out in an expression of pain. Rather she seems to become somewhat more quiet with the occasional moan of pleasure. Often she will achieve orgasm. When I ask her about the pain she is always confused. She says she feels no pain, only pleasure. Now I have spanked other girls in much the same way, and many of them have told me how painful it was.

Now, since my girl is obviously not suffering then I suppose she could not be classified as a masochist. Yet, since she clearly becomes aroused by the application of a stimulus that many others would find painful, perhaps another term is required... painslut maybe?

At the end of the day what I have learned is that different girls have different tolerances for stimulation. Pleasure to one will be pain to another. This makes sense to me. OTOH - some girls really do enjoy feeling pain, the sharp bite of the whip, the hot flash of dripping wax, and the close confinement of bondage.

As a sadist I can take pleasure from both sorts of girls, be they masochists, painsluts, or any other label you want to give them.

Diversity is fun.

Be seeing you,

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