Greetings all,My previous post generated some comments by Vesta. The following is an extract from one of them:As an older woman I know how to deal with these emotions and responses now, but as a younger girl, I did not. If the mentoring/training allows a girl to come to terms with that response whereby she neither hides it nor is concerned by expressing it, that's a good thing.
This raises some interesting questions.
First, while I think that the old adage about age bringing maturity is generally correct, does it therefore follow that younger women will have more difficulty coming to terms with their emotions and responses to being provoked than an older woman? My experiences would suggest that this is not the case at all. Rather, a woman's ability to handle her reactions to be provoked seems to be based on her previous experiences with D/s, as well as her previous life experiences.
For example, if a submissive female has suffered through abusive relationships in her past she will probably be challenged to come to terms with her submissive nature, regardless of her age. Also, social upbringing (and conditioning) seems to play an important role in how easily a female can accept her nature (and the same seems to be true for dominant males). IOW - age seems to have little to do with the level of difficulty a female will experience in admitting that she is submissive and accepting the implications of this acceptance.
I think the question of age comes more into play when a woman is trying to differentiate between the emotion of love, a desire for kinky playing and the nature of submission. It is very easy to get the two confused. Many times I have seen young woman label themselves as submissive, when what they are really after is to bottom in a scene. Other times I have seen women speak of the gift of their submission to a particular fellow, when what they are really saying is that they are in love.
For the more mature woman, coming to terms with their submission presents a different set of challenges, many of which revolve in having their entire world view turned up side down ("everything I thought I knew was right, turns out to be wrong"). They may fight their nature at every turn. These are women who have experienced love, and who have experienced all manner of sexual playing, and so are aware that their feelings of submission fit into neither category. But this does not make accepting it any easier.
Therefore it seems to me that women both young and old can benefit from mentoring and/or training, but the nature of this training will be quite a bit different. In both cases the objectives are the same, to come to terms with their nature, but how this is achieved will probably follow some rather different paths.
Be seeing you
1 comment:
Dear Mr Cross:
Your comments are enlightening. In fact, I *was* aware of my submissive nature at a young age but very wary of expressing it. I have often wondered how young women have the ability to express it at a time in their lives when they remain unsure of how/what they are feeling. Stupidly, I waited much too long to have the courage to express my true nature and I take my hat off to young girls who do.
I rather think that it has to do with whether a girl can say "no". I didn't trust myself to be able to say "no" to men who could provoke the response in me. It seemed safer to hide inside myself. That may be a silly thing to do, but that is what I did.
Needless to say, I would be most appreciative if you would care to expand on how women of different ages are mentored differently.
I will share with you that my mentor is younger than me, and whilst at first I thought that might not work, the age factor doesn't seem to have played a part at all.
I am enjoying the conversation. Thank you.
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