Greetings all,
One of the comments made by a reader (and thanks to all for your comments, they are much appreciated), was to the effect that a submissive might willingly tolerate sadistic behaviours on the part of her dominant as a way of providing service. Since the performance of service is at the heart of the submissive, it seems logical that she would accept things, even if she did not enjoy them, because they would please her dominant.
Of course, this would not make her a masochist, but rather a submissive willing to go to any lengths to service the desires and will of her dominant. Some might refer to this as a "sacrifice."
I think this is a rather important issue. The concept of self-sacrfice in the service of another is not new, nor is it unique to the D/s experience. It is all around us every day. In fact I would venture to guess that all of us have at one time or another sacrificed our desires for another, be it a child, a parent, a friend, a god, etc. I believe it is part of what makes us human that will allow us to perform these altruistic acts.
Yet, in the case of the deep submissive this ability to sublimate their own position in service to another is rather special. So yes, I can certainly see how a submissive might offer her body for the pains and pleasures which her dominant would visit for her, needing no more motivation than the knowledge that it would be pleasing. In fact, I have been with girls who have expressed exactly that sentiment to me - "Use me for your pleasure. Do not consider my own. My satisfaction is in service, and knowing I have been pleasing."
And of course, it is not just in the area of sexuality that this can occur. There are many disciplines and rituals which a dominant may require of a submissive which may not be the most enjoyable or pleasing to her. Yet she performs them.
But offering ones body in service is not the same as craving extreme sensation for sexual satisfaction. A fine line perhaps, but one which I see as being critical in the understanding of the difference between the submissive and the masochist.
As I have mentioned, I am both dominant and consider myself a responsible sadist. Therefore, I tend to seek out submissive females who are oriented to sexually to masochisim. Happily, there appear to be quite a few of them out there.
Segue: I have added a photo at the bottom of the blog for those who might care to scroll down.
Be seeing you,
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Dimensions of Submission - Redux
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4 comments:
Greetings, Mr. Cross,
seneca sees Mr. Cross's point and acknowledges that there is a distinction between masochism and submission. she agrees that it is a fine line and easily blurred.
she thanks Mr. Cross for clarifying this.
The photos added to the blog are beautiful as is the subject of the photos. :)
Respectfully,
seneca
Thanks for the kind words, seneca. I'm glad you liked the photo.
I rather like it as well.
Be seeing you,
hi,
i just came across your blog, and am reading through your past posts. i must say it is refreshing to read a blog from the Dominant perspective. it is sorely missing in blogsphere. you write well, and your observations and thoughts are well-thought out and mature. it is a pleasure to read. and i will continue with the rest.
a few posts back, you pondered on the lack of blogs written by Doms, and the possible reasons for this. i would like to offer my opinion. i think there IS an imbalance between the number of submissives and the number of Dominants, but that imbalance is not as extreme as it may seem, if you counted blogs. In addition, i believe that it may simply be a matter of a difference in basic character between the two. Lets start with the obvious fact that women are more talkative, in general, and tend to socialize and interact more with others. maybe submissive women are even more so, and prone to seek a "community", given the off-beat lifestyle we chose for ourselves. now, Dominants are a mixture of ego and possessiveness. (this is not meant in a derogatory way. to me, those features are practically irresistable.)
they like to keep things, their submissives and their kinks to themselves, and do not much seek either confirmation or sharing from others. thus less likely to share of themselves on a blog. that makes those that do, a rare treasure :)
just my 2 cents.
but i have disgressed. the reason i am writing this is to ask a question regarding this post. you speak of a submissives, without a masochistic tendency, to withstand pain, in order to please her dominant. i can understand that. what i am interested in is the dominants point of view. how does it feel for a dominant to inflict pain upon a submissive that he knows does not enjoy it. i imagine it would be an incredible feeling. of her giving. of the connection.
but, let's take a dom with a sadistic streak. would he be able to do it again and again over time? or would he maybe start to feel uncomfortable? would knowing she is not getting any physical pleasure put a damper on it eventually? doms are, after all, human.
thoughts?
Greetings rose,
Thank you for your comments.
You may be correct with respect to why we seem to see fewer dominants blogging than submissives. Perhaps the ratio is not as extreme as I have felt in the past, still, from speaking to many submissives, I find that there does seem to be a lack of dominants to go around to satisfy the needs of these females.
Or perhaps the dominants are already busy enough and are not looking for anything more. After all, there are more than a few fellows out there who run households with multiple "slaves".
Perhaps everyone is busy?
I shall answer your question in an upcoming blog entry.
Thanks again.
Be seeing you,
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