Saturday, February 9, 2008

Seek clarification before reaching conclusion

Greetings all,

If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times, "Seek clarification before reaching conclusion." No where is this more true than in the interaction between dominant and submissive.

The other day a women sent me an email asking for my opinion about something. I replied the same day. The next day she sent me another email saying she was unhappy and felt slighted since I had not responded. I replied again. The third day she wrote me a note calling me unfair, and inconsiderate and she was never going to speak to me again.

Turns out her spam filters were blocking all of my replies.

The point is, to not jump to conclusions based on assumptions. This happens much to often. We tend to filter information through our own biases, reading between the lines, and then conclude that even though someone said X what they really meant was Y.

This is even more true when communicating via email. While email has numerous benefits it sadly lacks in its ability to convey the full amount of information being communicated. We are told that 80% of most communication is non-verbal. So much is transmitted via body language, facial expressions, tone inflection, etc. None of this can be sent via email. Couple this with the fact that not everyone does a good job of proof reading their material (myself included) and you certainly have the possibility for a failure in communications.

That is why I always advise any girl of mine (and everyone in general) to seek clarification if something does not make sense.

Do not assume, verify first and then conclude.

Trust me, its a better way.

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