Submissive rights

Submissive rights

In a D/s lifestyle relationship, what are the rights of the submissive partner?

Some might say that the Submissive has no rights. I have seen relationships where the Dominant will require that the Submissive gives him all her money, property, etc. All decisions are made by the Dominant. The Submissive might be granted privileges but she is not entitled to anything.

Perhaps this works for some couples. But I would not define this as D/s. Rather I would call it Master/slave (M/s). And while M/s may work over brief periods of time, as a long term strategy I feel it has significant problems.

First off, let me be clear in saying that there is no consensual way for a Submissive to give up her rights as a citizen. At least in most Western countries. IOW - no court of the land will recognize any citizen’s consensual decision to abrogate their rights. There is no way that they can be taken away. Therefore, any contract that might be signed between the partners that would attempt to do such a thing would be considered to be null and void.

Further, and at a minimum, any Submissive has the right to leave the relationship whenever she might wish to. The responsible Dominant may not refuse such a request. To hold someone against their will contravenes the entire philosophy of D/s lifestyle relationships. True, there have been times when I considered that a girl I was training was reacting with emotion rather than reason in making her choice. At such times I have advised them to wait a day or two before making the request. But if they insist, then they are released. The Dominant has no choice in such matters.

But beyond the right to terminate the relationship whenever they choose to, is the Submissive entitled to any other rights? I would say they do.

At a minimum, they are entitled to the honesty, trust, and responsibility of their partner. Honesty - that the dominant partner will not lie. Trust, that the dominant part will do what they feel is best. Responsibility - that the dominant part will be responsible for the protection and enhancement of the Submissive.

As part of satisfying these requirements, the submissive has the right to expect that the Dominant will provide her with certain things. For example, a set of rules and disciplines that will provide a framework of expected behaviours, so she can know what is required. She has the right to expect that these rules will not be changed arbitrarily, and too, that punishment for infractions will be consistent and appropriate.

Perhaps most important the submissive has the right to protection while she serves the dominant. Protection from abuse, both by him and others. This protection would be both physical and emotional since abuse can take on many forms. Protection would also include respecting any limits that have been negotiated at the beginning of the relationship.

Finally, I would say that the Submissive also has the right not to be summarily dismissed from the relationship. IOW - that the Dominant will not end the relationship without giving her fair warning, so that she can either modify her behaviour, or prepare for the transition that is inevitable.

D/s is not about taking away rights, it is about living in balance and harmony. Both parties have rights in this partnership, though they are not always the same.

Be seeing you,